The Whispering Grove Page 20

  Where was Justin? Had anyone seen him finally leave Indano? Had he ... ?

  She pushed the dreadful thought away, trying to remember his kiss and recapture the sweetness. If she had betrayed her secret ... but what did it matter ... ?

  Somehow she managed to persuade Juliet to bed. It took a long time to settle her, she did not want to be left alone and she desperately wanted the reassurance Toni was unable to give. At last she lay down reluctantly and Toni went to Ellie. Poor Ellie was worried about Tom, who had gone with Justin and Roger and not returned, and her normally placid face was drawn under its ebony contours.

  ‘I’ll make some more tea,’ Toni said, and Ellie summoned a ghost of her humour. ‘Oh, lor’, Missus Toni, are we gonna float again or drown?’

  Unable to stay still Toni wandered back to Juliet’s room while she waited for the kettle to boil. Ellie made the tea and poured two cups, of which Toni took a couple of mouthfuls and then left her cup, forgotten ... Back to Juliet, open the screens and look out. Watch for the faintest signs of car lights in the darkness. This was torment... still, silent, dead ...

  By midnight she was frantic. The telephone had failed, intermittent cracklings were the only response each time she tried to dial. Deaf to Ellie’s pleadings that she try to get some rest, she suddenly remembered Marise. Of course, she could go to her stepmother. Marise might have heard something. Then she exclaimed aloud on a note of hysteria as she realized that Marise was no longer close at hand. The villa was empty, waiting sale, and Marise was three miles away on the far side of Port. And she couldn’t help. No one could help. Only Justin could drive out this dreadful fear that spawned and multiplied with each passing minute ...

  A dust-hazed dawn penetrated the still, unearthly darkness. Toni moved stiffly and glanced at Juliet. The child was still sleeping, the open story-book half under her face. Toni withdrew it gently and went out on to the veranda to stare numbly at the brightening sky.

  The night had been like a long dark tunnel, a nightmare from which light had brought no release. Forcing herself into action, she bathed her face and changed into a clean dress before she went to the kitchen.

  Poor Ellie had fallen asleep in her rocking chair, the rocking chair which looked so incongruous against the modern fittings of the kitchen. ‘She has to work in there, so why shouldn’t she have the comfort of her rocking chair?’ Justin had once said. Oh, Justin ... Her lips moved silently as she set about making a pot of tea.

  Ellie awakened with a cry of protest which Toni hushed as she sugared a cup liberally for the faithful servant of whom she had become very fond.

  In silent communion the two women sipped the hot brew, until at last Ellie stirred and set down her cup. ‘This is the end of sitting about. Just look at that mess!’ She dabbed indignantly at the film of fine ash which had permeated everywhere, borne by the freshening breeze during the night. Ellie sighed and her plump face sagged as she regarded Toni with worried eyes. ‘You’ve had no sleep. Why don’t you try to rest, honey-lamb? You can’t do no good fretting yourself. Now you go and lay down and I’ll see to Miss Juliet and things, and tell you the minute those menfolk show their noses. I guess they’ll be sleeping somewhere, and hungry as hounds.’

  Toni shook her head. ‘I can’t, Ellie, not till I know. Oh, Ellie, aren’t you frightened? Aren’t you afraid they ...?’ Her face crumpled and she clenched her hands as though to maintain a control fast disintegrating. ‘I can’t bear it any longer. It’s so quiet. As though there’s nothing left except - except—’ A tremor ran through her and she clasped her hands to her face.

  ‘Now, now.’ Ellie reached out with comforting arms and drew the overwrought girl close. ‘Listen, honey-lamb, that Tom of mine’s too sassy an old villain to get his skin singed, and Master Justin’s too clever. Now stop you frettin’. They’ll come, they’ll come.’ The random murmurs rambled into silence and Toni pulled herself free.

  ‘It’s no use, Ellie. I’ve got to know. I’ve got to find him.’ Without knowing why she did so she went with a limping awkward run to the sink and splashed her face with cold water. Blindly she dabbed with the kitchen towel and knuckled her eyes as she took a deep breath and stumbled outside.

  She was half-way along the drive when Ellie’s cry rang out behind her and the blue car swept through the gateway.

  Blue! Not white ... Not ... The brief flare of hope plunged to despair as Roger Drew scrambled out and hurried towards her. She hardly saw Tom get out, look vaguely in her direction, and then go wearily towards the villa.

  ‘Where is he? Where’s Justin? Isn’t he—? Roger,’ she almost screamed, ‘for God’s sake, tell me!’

  Through a mist she saw Roger gape at her and stammer: ‘But ... Isn’t he here? Didn’t he get back? I thought—’

  ‘You mean you don’t know?’ Aghast, she stared at him. ‘But you must know! You—’

  He shook his head. ‘I just got in with the boat a couple of hours ago. Port’s quiet now and I - Oh, Toni,’ he put steadying hands on her shoulders, ‘please don’t. I’m sure everyone got clear — but the phones are disrupted and—’

  ‘Where’s Justin?’ she moaned.

  ‘I don’t know, but I’ll take you down to Port and find out. He must still be there.’ He motioned towards the car, adding, ‘It was pretty chaotic through the night and I expect—’ He stopped, half into the car, and straightened, his face lighting with thankfulness. ‘Here he is.’

  The white sports car raced down the track and screeched in at the gate. Gravel spun under its wheels as they locked to a halt within inches of Roger’s car. In the passenger seat sat Justin, and at the wheel, her tawny hair windswept, was Lucy Sandanna. She looked cool and spotless, and there was something both secretive and amused in her smile as she took in the waiting scene and the tense silence that followed the dying note of the car engine. One slender brow flickered slightly and she whispered something to Justin.

  His hand already reaching for the door, he smiled faintly and murmured a response, raising his free hand to touch the slim, lacquer-tipped one which still rested on the steering wheel. Toni caught her breath; the gesture seemed to convey weariness, affection and despair.

  Then Lucy looked directly towards her. She waved her hand mockingly and called clearly: ‘See? I’ve brought him back to you, safe and sound. But I’d better warn you, dear, it’s been a tough night. He’s very tired.’

  For the moment Toni could not respond. The relief of seeing him, safe and so dear, was too overwhelming after the long dark hours of strain. Then she comprehended Lucy, her presence, her words, and Justin’s gesture. She stared at him and the something in his expression that she was afraid to look at, and her fragile control snapped. The sight of that lovely smiling face on which the mocking smile still lingered brought a dark tide of hate. Why was she there, at this time, with Justin? Why? Reaction and all the pent-up emotion of the past weeks swept aside logic and sanity, and suddenly the agonized hate swelled and extended to Justin. How could he? He was coming towards her now and she thrust out her hands.

  ‘No!’ She took a pace back. ‘No!’

  Deaf now to exclamations and insensate to a sudden wrenching pain in her foot from the unguarded movement, she evaded Justin’s startled gesture and turned blindly in search of escape, letting her stumbling steps carry her where they may ... anywhere, it didn’t matter. After all those dreadful hours and he came with

  Branches stung and tore at her bare arms, but she did not feel them; she knew only that it was all over. She couldn’t bear it any longer. She couldn’t fight Lucy Sandanna.

  Gasping, sobbing, at last she found her way barred by the sea. The waves curled sulkily to her feet, spume-choppy under the excrescences of lava and debris borne in on the current. The sullen roar seemed to echo the tormented fear beating home its message; the kiss of parting last night and the promise it had given meant nothing. Except a comfort and a reassurance during the dark anxiety of the moment. To herself Justin had only kindness
to give; he would never have more than kindness to give her. He had made that clear right from the start. Whatever had happened throughout the dreadful night it had led unfailingly to Lucy, his old love. It would always lead back to Lucy. And it was only a matter of time before ...

  ‘Toni.’ A shadow stretched over the sand.

  She shuddered and gasped, ‘Go away.’

  ‘Not until you’ve explained the reason for this little exhibition.’

  ‘I won’t explain anything. Leave me alone!’ Her voice rose to a note of hysteria. ‘What is there to explain? Why don’t you just go

  back to her? I understand. She’s made it perfectly plain that she—’ His hand fastened on her shoulder and she started violently. ‘Don’t touch me!’ She jerked herself free and stumbled up the beach.

  ‘Toni!’ His long strides rasped over the crisp sand, then became soft thuds on the floor of the grove. ‘Listen,’ he gritted, ‘stay still. Don’t force me to witness your tortured satisfaction in having that foot collapse under you again.’ He caught her by her shoulders and forced her to face him, and this time there was no escaping his fierce grasp.

  ‘Yes, it’s all very plain, isn’t it?’ he said grimly, staring into her distracted face. ‘Oh, yes, I know perfectly well what’s going on in your tormented little mind. If I hadn’t been such a benighted idiot I’d have seen it long ago. But I demand to know why you’re condemning me without a single scrap of concrete evidence to prove what you’ve believed ever since Lucy Sandanna came home. It’s true, isn’t it?’ His voice grated with a fresh rush of anger. ‘You believe I spent the night - or what was left of it - with her. Don’t you? Don’t you?’

  ‘Well, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes! But not the way you so obviously believe. And there can only be one reason,’ he shot at her. ‘Jealousy! Admit it; you’re crazy with jealousy. What else can it be? Sheer naked jealousy.’ This was a dark, bitter face she had never witnessed before and she shrank back, suddenly fearful of the passion she had unleashed. ‘I’m not!’ she denied feverishly. ‘I’m not. I — I wish I’d never— Oh, leave me alone! You’re hurting me. I - I hate you! You

  - you—’ Her voice broke as she sought to prise free the remorseless, imprisoning hands.

  ‘No, Toni, you don’t. I can’t believe that.’ His voice quietened and deepened in intensity. ‘Oh, you crazy, proud little idiot. Not hate! But could it be that - that at last you’re coming to love me?’ Love me! His hands dropped from her shoulders and the words reverberated through the wild sighing of the restless sea. Then their impact struck to the heart of her whirling senses and she took an unsteady pace back, almost afraid to meet the challenge of eyes which bound her to stay within their spell.

  ‘Could it?’ His tense features burned into her vision. ‘Can’t you admit it? Are you ashamed of it?’

  Suddenly she swayed in a rush of dreadful weakness and leaned on the strength of arms which were ready. She bowed her head, spent, and whispered: ‘Love you? I live for you! And that’s why I can’t take any more. I can’t bear it. It isn’t a marriage. It never has been.’

  ‘But it can be. And will be. Oh, my darling, I’ve been a blind, stupid ...’ His mouth twisted, and through blurring tears she saw his features losing all anger and bitterness. He said softly, ‘So often I wondered and hoped, and told myself I was imagining it because

  I wanted to see it that way. You never gave any sign that you ... until last night, when you ... And then— Oh, damn Lucy Sandanna! You do love me!’ The incoherencies were silenced in the impact of his mouth on hers.

  His arms tightened round her with the fierceness of a hunger as great as her own, and unbelief dissolved into wonder, into a swirling ecstasy that drove out all sorrow and despair from the world she now held within her straining arms.

  He broke the kiss and held her a little way away from him, searching her face with dark-shadowed eyes. ‘My darling, it’s true. I was stranded last night, in Port. The car’s stuck over at Barunna Hill. I had to find transport home and - Oh, damn it! Words!’ His arms closed round her again and spoke their own urgent plea as he whispered: ‘Is it true? You do love me... ?’

  She sighed in his arms, no longer caring about past or future. Nothing mattered now except that Justin was holding her as though he would never let her go, and the fire of his ardour beckoned to the rapture glimpsed only in an enchanted dream. She reached up, letting her lips give her answer, and her surrender ...

  The bright gold glory of the sun blazed down through the high arch of leaves above the grove. It reached and glinted on the raven curtain of Toni’s hair as she raised her face from the warm hollow of Justin’s throat. She looked up at the shimmering leaves, imagining a soft dreaming music in their secret whispers, then she let her gaze dwell wonderingly on the closed eyes and the mouth now softened and tender in the aftermath of love.

  He did not stir, and she put out a tentative hand, to gently trace those beloved contours, and the grey eyes flickered open as the mouth made its instant response to her featherlight touch.

  ‘Love me?’ His eyes caressed her, warmer than the golden sun-lustre on her shoulders.

  ‘Don’t you know?’ She was almost afraid to whisper, lest the sound should destroy the languor and the wonder of the moment. ‘Justin ... are you truly mine now?’

  ‘As truly as you are mine.’ He propped himself up on one elbow and tangled an idle hand in her hair. His mouth quivered. ‘Still jealous of poor old Lucy?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Because you’ve no cause, believe me, darling. It was all over a long time ago, such as it was. Even though I fell asleep in her sun lounge at four o’clock this morning.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘When the uproar was over I had only one thought - to get back to you. Any transport was acceptable, and she just happened to be there. I didn’t want to go back to her place for a wash and brush up, even though I knew I was looking an absolute wreck, nor did I want the drink she insisted on my having. But politeness makes it difficult to refuse these things.’

  He paused, and she said gently: ‘The one thing I can’t imagine

  you ever being is churlish.’

  A lover’s mouth brushed her hair. ‘I hope not, darling. But if I hadn’t been fool enough to forget that the best of vehicles has to be kept going with petrol I wouldn’t have spluttered to a stop at the foot of Barunna Hill with an empty fuel tank and a load of poor devils from Indano. All I could think of last night was to ferry as many people as possible to safety and shelter. Eventually we trekked down into Port and I took one of the army transports out to pick up some of the folks still making their way by foot. Lucy was in the mission hall where they’d set up one of the emergency reception stations, and there was so much to see to that the car and getting back went right out of my head. Then of course I remembered and Lucy immediately offered to run me home. And then, being female, she wanted to wash and change and she asked if I minded. I couldn’t very well refuse, but I never thought she’d take so damn long about it. I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, and the next thing I knew the sun was streaming in and that great major-domo of theirs was standing over me, looking aghast at the flotsam that had been washed up in their sun lounge. Lucy had taken it upon herself to let me sleep and turned in herself. And that’s the tale of my night of sin!’ His eyes glimmered mischievously. ‘Forgiven me?’

  ‘I’m not sure.’ She knew the instinctive desire of all new lovers to tease. ‘I might - in time.’

  ‘How soon?’

  She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. ‘Next time you kiss me.’

  For a moment he did not respond, then soberly he bent to the upturned mouth. His arms tightened, and the flame leapt again to meet her hungered response. At last he put her gently from him and looked gravely at her. ‘Toni, why didn’t you come to me weeks ago? Give me some small sign of the way you felt about me?’

  Her eyes shadowed and she looked away. ‘How could I? We’d made a bargain.’ />
  ‘Oh, I know.’ His mouth compressed. ‘But did you imagine that I’d think any less of you for admitting the most natural need of marriage?’

  ‘I - I didn’t want you only in — in that way. I wanted your love, all your love.’

  He sighed deeply. ‘That proud reserve of yours! Oh, darling, you’ve had all my love ever since the night I asked you to marry me.’

  Now she was startled. She sat up and stared at him. ‘You mean you—?’

  Yes.’ His smile had a tinge of sadness. ‘I loved you then. But you didn’t, at least I don’t think you did. And I doubt if you would have accepted me as a lover then. Would you?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She touched the collar of his shirt and solemnly straightened the set of it. ‘I began to love you before we were

  married, but by then it was too late. We’d made the arrangement. I

  - I couldn’t—’

  ‘That blasted arrangement! How often I’ve cursed it.’ Justin’s mouth curved ruefully. ‘Remember Durban? Our wedding night? I could have cursed those confounded baubles Juliet gave you, even while I loved you even more because you loved my child enough to keep faith with a promise you’d made her.’ He sighed. ‘You see I had my own plans to try to win you. I’d thought that when I gave you my necklace I’d put it on for you, and that perhaps you would meet me half-way in a kiss, and then .’ he gave a resigned gesture, ‘you know how things happen. I hoped that somehow everything would work out right and we’d find each other, and .’

  He shook his head, and his eyes had darkened with the mood of reminiscence. ‘But it didn’t work out. It only put an even greater gulf between us.’

  She was silent, her own eyes reflective, regretful for the lost weeks of happiness that might have been. But for Juliet’s baubles and her own proud reserve born of inexperience happiness might well have come as Justin had hoped and planned.